I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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