I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
