You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
