Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
