Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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