I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
