I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
