i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize