Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
you are never too drunk for berry picking
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Im part way to drunk.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
