i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
