It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
