Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
