No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
