What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
