i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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