i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
