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Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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