You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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