Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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