tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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