I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
