I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My nipple is on Facebook.
Someone shit on the floor
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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