I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
