theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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