She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize