He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i've created a new STD.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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