Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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