My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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