I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
