Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize