I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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