dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
