Don't you send me to vm
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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