Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
