Midget sex pt 2 tonight
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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