did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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