Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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