Tell her she can't have a vagina
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize