So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
