I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She is in my trunk
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
