sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You made out with two different species that night
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The air taste purple.
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