at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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