I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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