he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
