I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Why are your pants in the freezer?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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