winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
