You really coming over, don't trick.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Randomize
