and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
