I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
