you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
