I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
