hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
