I don't think brook has ever known best
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
