Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
