very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
