Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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