It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
