I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
