Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize