Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
