so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
