i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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