OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
