I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Can I color on your dick again?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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