I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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