Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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