I'm really into asian looking animals
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
