shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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