Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize