Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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