Christians are straight up FREAKS
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
