...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
