How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Ladies don't puke and tell
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize
