He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
