dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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