clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
