Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
