Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
